french pea

My salon has a web page now...go see it. :)

I haven't written in quite some time, so an update on life and love and other mysteries(...ok, ill never say that again). Things are going great. It is so weird to realize that life is so different in different parts of not only the world, but the U.S. Like, people are so honest in the West/Midwest. Not that you always want as honest as you get, BUT it was really cool to be around people that are ok with who they are. Like, a lot of times here in the good ol' South people get on a kick of being like everyone else, and if they aren't then people arent ok with them. I think different is good. Honest is good. I really like different...I think that is why I like my friends...they are different and honest...it is so refreshing. I really like that. I really like Colorado and Kansas City. I like to say "like" and "really"... oh well.

I have a huge praise!!! My dad had open heart surgery to have his aortic valve replaced with a mechanical one. He is now doing great. He is back to work and feels much better. God is so good.

...ive come to the reality that the world is coming to an end. really though...there is craziness everywhere. i mean do you know what people do now. they do ANYTHING to escape feelings and reality. i mean i know that sometimes i just want to stop thinking about something, so i work out or go read or journal or pray or whatever. but now, its pills or alcohol or name something that is harmful to the body, soul and spirit, and its that. families arent families...they are strangers. friends arent really friends...they are other people being swept away in the what i call "escape mentality". what do we do about it...pray and fast... do what 1 Thess 4 says..."admonish the unruly" (admonish- gently correct). It seems like there isnt anything that is enough. I know that we cant save people, Jesus saves, but we are his instruments. I believe that there is about to be an outpouring of the Spirit of God and satan knows he is about to be losing, so he is destroying as much as possible.
on a separate note: I know that everyone eventually goes through things that they cant seem to understand, for me it is mental illness/demonic oppression. I cant seem to grasp it. i just trust God for my brother. i trust for his healing...it gets so difficult sometimes. i trust God for many things, and HE is so faithful...i have so many praises that HE has done in my life and in the lives of people around me, but sometimes it is just hard to swallow the things that seem left undone. God never forgets, and He never leaves us. I know that my brother will be healed soon...that is what I believe and stand firm in... it would be easier to give up and say my brother just needs his meds, but where is faith in that? Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen. I dont see Ames being healed soon, but faith is the evidence that by the blood of Jesus Ames is healed.

Some things I have always disliked, but have become thankful for:

I am thankful for my non ability to sing...because I appreciate those who can
I am thankful for my fair skin...because its different
I am thankful for Leeds, AL...because it has a Wal-Mart and Sonic
I am thankful for big thighs...because they run faster
I am thankful for freckles...because they are angel kisses(says Nana)
I am thankful for tomatoes...because they help prevent cancer and they are in salsa
I am thankful for strong willed people...because they are strong in what they believe
I am thankful for capri pants...because gauchos came from them
I am thankful for face wrinkles...because they are evidence of life lived
I am thankful for grey hair...because I make money off of it
I am thankful for text messaging...because it facilitates relationship
I am thankful for confrontation...because it helps you grow
I am thankful for traffic...because its unexpected time to pray and worship
I am thankful for being embarrassed...it keeps me humble
I am thankful for cats...no Im not.
I am thankful for school...because I met friends there
I am thankful for hard times...because then I am more thankful for good times.
I didnt think this would go on so long... :)

I do not understand this world (world as in human nature and society). I do not fully understand God either. However, the difference in the two are that the more I learn and discover about God the more intrigued and encouraged I am, and the more I uncover about the world the more disheartened it makes me. I think this is a good place to be. God gives such hope. The Bible says that "hope is our achor" without that anchor we drift.

I know it is a little late for a "year in review" of 2005, but I have been thinking of last year a lot lately. The only thing that has kept me from going insane is God and the people God sent to bring peace to my life. In one year I started a business; led an overseas missions trip; had my gall bladder taken out; found and bought a house; and got engaged and married in 7 weeks. I know that God has taken care of me way beyond what I can even explain. He has made my yoke easy and my burden light. I mean, I had my moments where I didn't think that having faith was a possibility, but God prevailed through it all. He is so good to me. I know that it is always more difficult just before God expands your territory, because He has to stretch you and make sure that you can handle all He will give you. So, now I think God is giving me a little time to catch my breath and enjoy the little things (those things that make my eyes tear up to think about, you know those things that are so precious that if they were ever taken away it wouldnt takeasecond to cry). I thrive on change, but I am so content, and I am learning(always learning) to be content. Now that I have started to look at things differently, and I am realizing that seasons pass, and I may never be in that season again, I dont want to rush a thing. You can never get a moment back, so I want to absorb every one. I know that this may be an old thing to some people, but it has just now become real to me. We dont have forever here, so live, serve and love.

Last night I was talking to my husband, and he told me that one thing he has learned is ... he knows that it isn't about him. It is not about me. It is not about you. What is IT? It is anything or nothing. It is life. It is a job. It is a day. It is whatever you do. Things are not about us. They are about God and others. When we get sucked into the thinking of, "I am not doing good enough." or "Is my life good?"When we do this it sort of messes us up(temporarily). Honestly, I feel this pressure to be a great person, or I try too hard on my own. God is the reason I have anything or can do anything. He makes all things. He is the restorer of hope. He is why I live. Whenever I forget this I can't make it in life. I just can't make it when I am not living for Him. With the Lord, not only do I make it, but I thrive and I love.