french pea

I know it is a little late for a "year in review" of 2005, but I have been thinking of last year a lot lately. The only thing that has kept me from going insane is God and the people God sent to bring peace to my life. In one year I started a business; led an overseas missions trip; had my gall bladder taken out; found and bought a house; and got engaged and married in 7 weeks. I know that God has taken care of me way beyond what I can even explain. He has made my yoke easy and my burden light. I mean, I had my moments where I didn't think that having faith was a possibility, but God prevailed through it all. He is so good to me. I know that it is always more difficult just before God expands your territory, because He has to stretch you and make sure that you can handle all He will give you. So, now I think God is giving me a little time to catch my breath and enjoy the little things (those things that make my eyes tear up to think about, you know those things that are so precious that if they were ever taken away it wouldnt takeasecond to cry). I thrive on change, but I am so content, and I am learning(always learning) to be content. Now that I have started to look at things differently, and I am realizing that seasons pass, and I may never be in that season again, I dont want to rush a thing. You can never get a moment back, so I want to absorb every one. I know that this may be an old thing to some people, but it has just now become real to me. We dont have forever here, so live, serve and love.

Last night I was talking to my husband, and he told me that one thing he has learned is ... he knows that it isn't about him. It is not about me. It is not about you. What is IT? It is anything or nothing. It is life. It is a job. It is a day. It is whatever you do. Things are not about us. They are about God and others. When we get sucked into the thinking of, "I am not doing good enough." or "Is my life good?"When we do this it sort of messes us up(temporarily). Honestly, I feel this pressure to be a great person, or I try too hard on my own. God is the reason I have anything or can do anything. He makes all things. He is the restorer of hope. He is why I live. Whenever I forget this I can't make it in life. I just can't make it when I am not living for Him. With the Lord, not only do I make it, but I thrive and I love.

Ok... so there is an issue to address. I dont know why, but there is a contraverse that has never revealed itself to me in my life before now. The issue is a dog. Seems simple...a great dog to keep you company and protect your house when you are away or at home. A dog that would go on walks and play in the park. However, there is a lilttle problem, and let me just put it on your plate... Boy or Girl?? We dont really choose the sex of our human babies. How are you supposed to choose the sex of your dog? Dan wants a boy, and of course I want a girl.

christmas is coming soon, my birthday is in 2 days, i was married one month ago, and life is a beautiful thing. i have a house with my wonderful husband. i have a great family and wonderful friends. my God is a great God. today i dont want to get caught up in myself and how i "feel", but i want to go back to truth. truth about life. truth about who i am, why i am here. today i want to show love...not be selfish...not be weird...but to just be, to humbly be.